Watering the Plant of Intimate Relationships


Today I want to talk about the connection. This is something we all want more and is something that in today’s culture, many of us lack. We do not have real relationships with friends, family members, and even the people who are closest to us: our partners.

Our society does not give us priority to build relationships. Sure there are phones, text messaging and social media, but that is not what I am talking about. I’m talking about a heart-to-heart relationship that can only happen when phones are put down and we can slow down enough to actually pick each other up.

If you have children, it is only more challenging to make room to connect. But what happens when we don’t make the connection a priority?

Our relationships are like plants that need proper nutrition to grow and they stop and eventually die.

Recently I have been struggling with connections. My husband and I are the parents of a wonderful (and stunning) two-year-old boy. I own a coaching profession and also teach in a university. My husband has a demanding job of his own. Sometimes it can feel like we are just doing tag-team parenting and passing like ships at night.

We have realized that we need to slow down and make more time to connect – even if it means the blog post is not written or the house is not cleaned. It is important to give time to let go of perfection and water the relationship.

Watering your relationship is not like going out for a fancy dinner and a Broadway show (however it may be). It can also be about taking ten minutes at the end of a busy day, to sit next to each other, check-in and a few minutes of heart connection. It can be about taking an extra ten seconds to hug and kiss your partner goodbye, rather than rushing out the door and shouting, “Love ya bye again!”

When we make space to build relationships with our partners, everything becomes easy. Connection lightens our load and helps us remember that we are not doing all this alone. It helps us reconnect to what made us fall in love with this person in the beginning. And it brings a lightness to the routine of every day life. It helps us connect with gratitude and when we are grateful for what we have, we see the world in a completely different way.

This week you can take an action that may be to slow down and connect with a partner or friend? Notice how it changes your perception and makes you feel more full inside.

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