Romance is a way to express your love, icing on the cake. But do not wait for special occasions to express your love. Make sure that you nurture your love affairs by practicing these basic habits in your day to day life. These may sound very basic, but how many exercises do you do regularly? Don’t despair … it never takes long to adopt good, loving habits.
Most couples who come to my counseling practice because of problems tell that their marriage ended long ago. When you live separately and date each other, it is easy to feel romantic, because every moment spent together is special. From the moment you start living together, such romantic moments are no longer automatic. Instead, most of your time is spent on more mundane things together: washing clothes, washing dishes, paying bills or going to work. While it can be new, exciting and fun at first, as soon as the initial newness of living stops, such everyday things stop feeling exciting and romantic, and you may find yourself feeling anxious Your partner no longer cares as much or is excited to be with you.
Developing these good relationship habits will bring a big change in your happiness.
Good relationship habits
1. Do not resist, listen.
We often have a knee-jerk negative reaction that a friend tells us, or wants to do. Instead of answering negatively, “It won’t work …” “We can’t do that …” Try to listen and think for a few seconds. You may get to know your initial response changes, and at any rate, listening and understanding is not the same as agreeing. When your spouse feels that you care about what he or she is saying, the nature of communication will change for the better.
2. Increase the sweetness.
Married life has its inevitable stresses and strains. To keep things in balance, we need to exert some energy to increase the sweetness between us. The gestures of thoughtfulness, ‘thank you’ and politics and affection are the WD-40 of your marriage. Say “I love you” every day. Make things run smoothly by remembering to add a sprinkling of sweetness over and over again. You will be surprised how good you feel, and how much more responsive your partner is.
3. Kiss Goodbye and Hello.
When you throw it into the hang. Affection keeps the juices flowing and romance stays alive.
4. Keep your behavior.
Treat your partner better even when you were dating… remember you are dear. Touch each other. Sit near your significant other, and gently place your hand on his shoulder, leg or arm. If you are in a car, lightly touch his shoulder or arm. You will find that your conversation has become heated and more caring. If you are struggling, or are ready to forgive each other, then facing each other and holding both hands will help you feel more positively connected and confident.
5. Do not sweat the small stuff.
You can annoy his bad habits to distract you … or you can accept them, and work around them. Does he leave the cap with toothpaste? Buy a separate tube … does he lay clothes around? Ignore them, or pick them up, remembering how much he does for you in other ways. Or, make it easy for your partner to satisfy you… keep hampers and cloth trees within easy reach.
6. Focus on the positive.
Instead of thinking about the ways that you / he disappoints you, think of all the positive things about your partner that make you attracted to them at first.
7. Take a breath while you’re mad.
Try not to talk when either of you is angry. Take a few minutes to walk around the block, lying down, just away from each other so that you can regroup. A short break will allow you both to stay on track and discuss what is bothering you rather than accidentally insulting you personally which you will later regret.
8. Never use your partner’s secrets or weaknesses against them … ever!
What you may find trivial, insignificant or lovable may be serious for your partner. Identify what is important to your partner, and do not discuss it with your friends, mother, their family, anyone! And certainly don’t throw words back at them in an argument. A loving relationship is the most intimate and reliable one can have.
9. Think about your partner first.
If both of you do this, you can’t help but win! Remember that first and foremost, before doing anything, you are a partner. Keep this in mind and check back frequently to make sure that you are acting like a partner, not a competitor or avoidant. You are together in this thing, and this is what the partnership is about. Say ‘yes’ to your partner as much as you can … go to that sports event with him, go out on that golf course because he loves golf, visit his family, make life easier for his partner Is, and hope that they will do the same for you! Reciprocity is the key.
10. Respect each other.
Never treat your partner badly, even joke! There is a habit of negative words and when things go wrong, there is a habit of surrounding them. When you talk about your partner, let your respect and love shine through. Unless your partner is really talking about unhappiness (job loss, death, etc.) where a smile would be inappropriate, look in the eye and smile while you listen to him. Your partner will automatically feel more understood and cared for, which will change the emotion level of the discussion. This does not mean that you stare repeatedly for a few seconds at a time to communicate your presence.
11. Find a way to regroup together every day.
Discover what works well for both of you… Eat together, meet for happy hour drinks, leave TV at night and just lay in bed in the dark, walk around the block, etc. You can get things done. Can also be mixed and your routine changes. If one of you is traveling, call home at night to hear their voice. The point is to spend time together daily, just talking or breathing the same air, feeling connected. No matter how crazy you are with work, children and bills, it is necessary to set aside regular time each week for marriage. Have a “date night” that includes a “state of the union” discussion or take a pleasant walk or drive. Staying connected means that things don’t get to the point of fighting, and you’ll remember how good you are. Do not forget to celebrate and appreciate each other. Inspiration comes from celebration and appreciation, so when you spend a pleasant time together, both of you will be inspired to make your wedding as good as possible.
12. Try laughter.
If there is some disappointment, try to ease the tension with a little humor. After a difficult conversation in a store, when going out, you can say, “It went well.” With a touch of irony. Or, when a person drops something and messes up, you can say, “The Gremlins are here again” “It’s always something” or “It could be” to turn the tension into fickleness. Don’t joke on your partner, but use shared humor to say “I know it’s tough, but we’ll get it.” Your partner will think of you to be soothing and helpful when there is a problem.
13. Use pleasant surprises.
Try a love note in your spouse’s briefcase, be it a toilet seat without reason, a flower, plant, card or balloon with a smiley face on the underside, or an unexpected gentle pat on the back, a hug or Kiss says “I’m thinking about you in a good way, and I love you.”
14. Remind about Good Times.
“Remember when …” is a great start to a loving conversation. It makes a great sense to remember when you were married, when you were married, when you first bought your house, when you had your first child, when you got that promotion. Reminding them of their solid history is one way to enhance their bond.
15. Brag friends at your partner’s hearing.
Of course, tell your partner about his / her face how much you care, but also be sure to tell your friends, while your partner is around, you married a great man or girl. “Harold is very considerate. Today he helped me around the house.” Or “Sue is such a great mother. She really makes the children feel that they are loved and she is still marking them.” Or, “Did you hear? Fred got a big boost. I’m proud of him.” Or, “I don’t know what I’d do without Judy. She’s awesome with money.” Or, “My sweetie doesn’t look very good today? I’m so lucky.” Don’t worry if your partner looks embarrassed. He or she will also be pleased, and will remember your bra for a long time.
Remember… the more you put into your relationship, the more you benefit! Make love and romance a part of your daily life!
Adapted from: How to be a Happy Partner: Working Together https://tinyurl.com/ycvrckus