The Four Habits of Highly Effective Relationships


A person needs certain qualities to be highly effective in a relationship.

Scripture instructs, as in 1 Peter 4: 8 “to love one another deeply, because love exceeds the multitude of sins.” The Bible is full of narrative and love lessons, but why do people fail?

Dr. Norman Vincent Peel once said that relationships fail due to “selfishness” and “immaturity”, explaining why so many marriages end in divorce.

Couples marry young, and before they have a chance to get to know themselves and learn many life lessons about self-esteem, love and relationships.

Over the twenty-seven-year period of therapeutic work with individuals and couples, seeing some fail and others succeed, a factor analysis was calculated, attempting to understand what characteristics and behaviors or “habits” people had Relationships that were highly effective for them.

These habits are learned patterns of behavior from parents, or primary care divers, as children get older. Most individuals make a subliminal “reevaluation” of what they saw from others to replicate them as adults in their current relationships.

There are four basic habits that a person must demonstrate in order to succeed in relationships.

The first habit is generosity.

Generous individuals learn and demonstrate kindness, consideration, thoughtfulness and etiquette to others. They also know love as an attitude, thinking of the well-being of others as Christ taught us in Matthews 19:19 to “love your neighbor as yourself”. Love is also a behavior; This is what we do.

Liberal people understand that love requires sacrificing for others. The greatest example of this is indicated in John 3:16, when God sacrificed his Son, so that we might know eternal life.

Those who have the habit of generosity also know to forgive. They understand that to abandon hatred, resentment and anger is to be free from evil.

The second habit is maturity.

As individuals develop over time, they learn to be self-aware, they achieve greater maturity. Reducing this trait prevents a person from knowing how they are affecting others.

Self-discipline is another component of maturity. An adult must be able to meet the demands of reality in order to act at its highest level, as well as meet the expectations of those who depend on them.

In a healthy relationship, a mature person will also take responsibility for his actions. The initial response a person makes in any situation is to ask themselves “what did I do to contribute to this problem?”.

Mature people are patient people. They understand that the ability to withstand delayed gratification is to know the real purpose of time, and this is so that everything does not have to happen at once.

The third habit is trust.

Trusting and trusting others is an essential element of a healthy relationship.

A person should not only trust himself but should also be sensible in knowing how to trust others. The most important thing is that having faith in God makes it easier for us to live in this world. Psalm 2 Lord: suggests- suggests that trusting the Lord brings peace to the heart.

Trust not only requires communication, but it requires a specific type of communication. It should be regular in frequency, effective in its clarity and conciseness, as well as honest. Do not leave information out. The other person will want to know and will not give false testimony.

Additionally, trust reliability is required. People need to know that they can depend on you. be consistent. You do what you are going to do and where you say you are going.

The fourth habit is empathy.

There are two types of sympathy. Cognitive empathy allows you to imagine what a person is saying or experiencing, and leads to a greater understanding of another person. Emotional empathy allows you to feel what someone is feeling.

What happens in a relationship should be guided by understanding and feeling what others experience helps you connect in such a way that you will not hurt the other person.

The key to being highly effective in relationships is to be healthy and mature in your attitude towards others as well as to develop healthy habits of being trustworthy and trustworthy. By empathizing with the other person’s feelings and understanding what they say, your relationship with others will be strengthened.

When these habits become formed, and they continuously become part of your character, you will without doubt be highly effective in all your relationships, whether it is at home, at work or in your church.

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