I was having a chat yesterday with a dear friend of mine, and the subject moved to harmful diversity relationships, and she made a valid and clear point. There is never just a toxic relationship in our lives, and whatever they have, we are the only ones. So, to an extent, it means that it’s not really them, and it’s really us.
Now, before you shout at me, listen to me. I am not saying that it was all your fault. But this is something I know to be true about myself and my relationships; I got caught up in letting bad stuff happen, and because it was happening in the biggest relationship in my life, I let it wander into others.
this is true.
Think about your life. Relationships with your toxic partner colored your life, and I’m guessing that you wanted a quiet life (or at least, be allowed to live the way you wanted). Because it colors your perceptions, changed your actions around them. So your boss started taking action improperly, or a family member started paying attention to you … do you see the pattern?
We get what we allow people to give. Some people don’t like us and never will, and some people are of the opinion of “I like you, who like you”. Those who fall into these categories will either go out to harass and annoy you, or will not care if their actions in their quest for world domination upset you. But mango is through you in every way.
As you are the common denominator, what do you do about it?
The answer is simple. Do not give them an opportunity to spread their special toxicity around your life. You can deal with it in many ways. Be as good as pie to them, or cut them out of your life. it’s your choice. But when you think about your toxic relationships and realize that you are always attracted to the shortcomings in your life, it is partly because you are allowing them.
Remove permission and relieve pain.
Its freedom is immense. I know that a toxic relationship undermines our self-confidence and we condition other people’s reactions to us by our actions and beliefs as we may feel we deserve, our self based on our following- Can be respected. This makes us easy targets for bad treatment. If we don’t tell the people in our lives who hurt us that this is what they are doing, how will they stop?
Good things and precious friendship in your life should be common.