You just got (or are getting) a divorce. You are ending a relationship that, at the end, was more negative than positivity. It is a good thing. However, divorce also breaks our perception of the world and injures us emotionally. Literally, divorce leaves us.
The message of divorce with our heads and our future in danger
What we believe in and why we feel that the way we do after divorce is the best, nothing less than congratulations with reality. Therefore, if we have any hope of developing a new, healthy long-term relationship, we need to make some changes.
If we do not do this, then we are not fully ready to start a new committed relationship. In fact, failure to accommodate our beliefs, feelings and behavior after divorce is a large part of the 66% of 2 marriages and 75% of 3 marriages failing. In other words, we want change.
A transition relationship can help us make those changes
Early dating, namely, dating before the divorce is final or soon after, is usually the result of a “transition relationship”, even though two people usually don’t know what it is. The purpose of a transition relationship is to help you create a conversion by pairing with your ex. This will allow you to re-experience validation and feel that you are still beloved. It will also help you change the flaws and feelings caused by divorce that now hinder your successful, new relationships.
We need to make some changes
Generally, many changes or changes need to occur. Some changes include how we view our transition relationship. Other changes include what we believe, how we feel, and how we act because of our divorce.
Change in agenda for transition relationship. Heaven-sent verification feels like This new relationship is a long-lasting, lasting bond leading to a marriage between two willing and independent equals that does not require change. Are we not told that love is, “to accept you as you are?” We are convinced that it is! We have found our soul!
This is way too much, way too soon. Right now your transitioning relationship can only help you connect with your ex to your previous life, not in planning for the next several decades. “Accept me as I am” is a romantic fantasy. Your job is to manage the changes In you Which will make a successful long-term relationship possible. It is soon known how long this will last. You have a lot of time. Use it to get rid of divorce and prepare for the future.
Change in beliefs. Typical faulty beliefs that survive a divorce include: “I need an apology from my ex.” “I need clarification from my ex.” “My former villain is here.” “I will never find true love again.” “I’m ugly and ugly.” “I am unfit for my dream relationship.” “I’m too old to live my dream relationship.”
Change in emotions. Some common, harmful feelings include guilt, anger, hatred, shame, embarrassment, invalidation, resentment, revenge, harassment, etc. The transition relationship provides a setting to trade in feelings such as those of more useful people who are grateful for marriage. Golmaal taught you and excited and hopefully what the next chapter can bring.
behavior modification. Some common behaviors that make early dating difficult include checking your ex’s Facebook page, asking friends about your ex, talking frequently about your divorce, and talking about your ex with your current partner. Is included. Other problematic behaviors include talking, texting and emailing your ex and treating your new partner in the same way that you treated your ex. Some discussion of your divorce is common, but when it becomes a regular topic of conversation with your current partner, it is a problem worthy of change.
However, we do not Want to to alter
We almost never “feel the need” to make changes. The relationship feels like the real thing. Neither partner feels that this is a temporary “transition” relationship, preferring to assume that this is the beginning of the next long-term, committed relationship. Therefore, if it is not broken then do not fix it.
And the point is…
It needs to be fixed anyway.
You got divorced And divorce gives all of us some useless beliefs, feelings and behaviors that are a threat to our future happiness. Any hope of finding a new healthy relationship requires that you fix what the divorce had broken. That means you have to change. Then, and only when you are a safe partner for someone else to build a long-term, committed relationship. Then, and only then, can you believe that your next long-term relationship will not fail.
how do you do this? Dissolve your natural resistance to change.